How can MRAs say that “man up” is offensive if it’s basically saying that becoming a (grown) man is a desirable goal?
Its like saying “can’t you be more lady like”.
No, it isn’t. “Act like a lady/be more lady like” is meant to “put the woman in her place”. It’s said when e.g. a woman is angry or when she’s doing something deemed “inappropriate for a woman”. It’s restrictive.
“Man up”, on the contrary, isn’t restrictive. You may say that it’s restrictive, because it doesn’t allow men to show emotions blah blah, but it’s another type of restrictiveness altogether. Even if it’s a behavioral instruction, the anticipated goal has a completely different meaning for the man in comparison to the woman.
“Man up” might be said in a harsh tone of voice, but that’s due to the educational purpose of “thoughening up”. The message is: “You’re a man. Don’t act like that, because it will gain you disrespect from other men and as a man you deserve better. You have to take care of yourself or else you’ll become an easy target.” It’s motivational.
The message of “be more lady like”: “Women shouldn’t behave like that, because men will disapprove.”
What’s the common denominator? Men being the frame of reference. “Be more lady like” is dictaded by men, even if some women accept and perpetuate that message. It isn’t meant to promote them, but rather keep them passive and compliant, like not being angry (which is an emotion as well, BTW), because women ought not complain or raise their voice. In contrast, a man would be told to “man up” if he was passive and compliant. Which is more advantageous?
getting so fucking sick and tired of people thinking there’s always a parallel mirror carbon copy issue that men face for the same reason women do can u srsly not
^^seriously. in discussions about slurs like “cunt,” “bitch,” and “slut,” men in my classes will try desperately hard to redirect the conversation toward men and how they’re victims of the same sort of slurs in male-version. (bullshit, btw—men DON’T have equal mistreatment, people—that’s part of the damn problem.)